Just for Fun


PC Message Glossary

It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."

It says: "Press A Key"
Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.

It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes,
only to be told that it's a hardware problem."

It says: "Installing program to C:\<Directory>...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into
C:\windows and C:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."

It says: "Please insert disk 7"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 6 disks."

It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM,
I want to use the bit below 640K."

It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "...however, if you put the CD in right side up..."

It says: "Please Wait...."
It means: "...indefinitely."

It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: "....any more. Woops."

It says:  "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting
your work back."

Und hier ein Special für Thomas:

Statt Ratten sollen jetzt Juristen als Versuchstiere eingesetzt werden
Die Sache hat nämlich einen entscheidenden Vorteil:
Selbst die abgebrühtesten Wissenschaftler möchten Ratten nicht alles antun.
Allerdings hat sie auch einen Nachteil:
Die Ergebnisse lassen sich schlechter auf Menschen übertragen...

Das Wort "Windows" stammt von den Sioux und bedeutet: "Weisser Mann starrt durch Glasscheibe auf Sanduhr"

Directors at Daimler-Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotions, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c."
Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers kan have 1 less letter. There will be a growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a determent to akkurate spelling. Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of silent "e's" in the language is disgrakeful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, people will be resepetive to steps such as replaking "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unekessary "o" kan be dropped from vords kontaining "ou", and similiar khanges vuld of kors be applied to all ozer kombinations of letters.
After zis fifz year, ve vill hav a really sensible vriten style. Zere vill be no more trubls or diffikultis and employee's vill find it easy to komunikat viz each ozer.
Ov kourse all suppliers vill be expekted to svitsh to zis for all business kommuniktion via Daimler-Khrysler.

Ze dream vill finally kome true.

David Copperfield mußte seine Polen-Tournee abbrechen, weil er die Eintrittskarten nicht mal zur Hälfte verkaufen konnte!
Erklärung: Naja, die Polen sind halt daran gewöhnt, daß Sachen verschwinden...

Eine interessante optische Täuschung:

Spirale oder nicht?
Verlaufen die Linien wirklich spiralförmig? Guck mal genau hin!

Ein Blondinenwitz
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You're next!"

Have you ever smelled moth balls?
I would like to know how the hell you spread their little legs apart!!