Just for Fun
PC Message Glossary
It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Press A Key"
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact
technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It says: "Installing program to C:\<Directory>...."
It says: "Please insert disk 7"
It says: "Not enough memory"
It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It says: "Please Wait...."
It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
Statt Ratten sollen jetzt Juristen als Versuchstiere eingesetzt werden
Die Sache hat nämlich einen entscheidenden Vorteil:
Selbst die abgebrühtesten Wissenschaftler möchten Ratten nicht alles antun.
Allerdings hat sie auch einen Nachteil:
Die Ergebnisse lassen sich schlechter auf Menschen übertragen...
|Directors at Daimler-Benz and Chrysler
have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language
for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotions, Directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c."
Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers kan have 1 less letter. There will be a growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Daimler-Khrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a determent to akkurate spelling. Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of silent "e's" in the language is disgrakeful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, people will be resepetive to steps such as replaking "th" with "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unekessary "o" kan be dropped from vords kontaining "ou", and similiar khanges vuld of kors be applied to all ozer kombinations of letters.
After zis fifz year, ve vill hav a really sensible vriten style. Zere vill be no more trubls or diffikultis and employee's vill find it easy to komunikat viz each ozer.
Ov kourse all suppliers vill be expekted to svitsh to zis for all business kommuniktion via Daimler-Khrysler.
Ze dream vill finally kome true.
|David Copperfield mußte seine Polen-Tournee
abbrechen, weil er die Eintrittskarten nicht mal zur Hälfte verkaufen
Erklärung: Naja, die Polen sind halt daran gewöhnt, daß Sachen verschwinden...
Verlaufen die Linien wirklich spiralförmig? Guck mal genau hin!
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You're next!"